Precious Things
by Tanith Tumultuous
Summary: Holtzbert. Erin/Holtzmann. Holtzmann gives Erin something precious. Erin wonders if there's anything she can give back.
1. Chapter 1

Erin turned the knife over in her hands and looked at Holtzmann quizzically.

"Uh, what's it do?" She asked. She had a feeling it would either be very, very dangerous or...

Holtzmann grinned.

"It's a Swiss Army Knife. Every woman should have one."

Erin rolled her eyes.

It was a couple of hours later that Erin felt the knife in her pocket. She pulled it out and held it between her thumb and forefinger, gently rubbing it. Thinking. She felt a raised edge and flipped the knife upside down to examine the mark.

Messily scrawled in Holtz's manic handwriting was the letters "J.H" burnt into the plastic casing. It had probably been done with a hot screwdriver, judging by shape of the full-stop. Erin thought that the way Jillian played with fire was pretty dangerous, but then that was Holtzmann all over. Dangerous, risky, but exciting all the same. Erin furrowed her eyebrows.

"Still can't believe she gave you that." Abby's bemused voice broke into Erin's musings, dragging her back to the surface. "She always has it on her. Ever since I've known her. It's like her most treasured possession. She fiddles with it when she's upset, so I don't know what compelled her to give it to you."

Erin frowned, chewing the inside of her mouth thoughtfully. The pieces didn't add up.

"But I'm just Erin. I'm nobody."

Abby laughed. "I don't think you're nobody to Holtz. In fact, I'd go as far as to say you're Holtzmann's favourite person in the world."

Patty elbowed Abby hard in the ribs.

"Girl, this ain't our business. Let her work it out." She said, but Erin had stopped listening.

Holtzmann had given her something precious. Erin wondered if she had anything to give back.


	2. Chapter 2

It was very late when Erin got back to her apartment. She'd waited for Holtz to get back from the alley, feigning interest in some nonsensical calculations. When the others left, Erin checked the alley. There was no sign of Holtz. Still, she waited another couple of hours, because Holtzmann's jacket was still crumpled the floor by her desk.

Holtzmann didn't come back. Erin wondered why she'd even been waiting. She hadn't questioned it at the time but, upon contemplating it at 11 at night, she wondered what she was thinking. Holtzmann always left last, and Erin was sure she didn't need to be checked upon. Perhaps it was because she'd disappeared so early, she reasoned.

Still, it was weird and a bit sad, so she left.

She felt exhausted by the time she got home, but she couldn't sleep yet. She began to tear apart her home looking for something, anything, to give to Jillian. Something that had meaning. She didn't know what she wanted to tell her, but she knew it had to be good enough.

At 2am, she gave up. Erin got into bed, feeling defeated. She couldn't sleep. And then it came to her, like a flash of lightning to her brain.

She flipped her mattress and felt the wooden frame for a box.

Holtzmann hadn't come back in with the others after the penknife incident.

She was embarrassed. She'd seen the shock, and then disappointment written all over Erin's face. She tried to fix it.

Erin hadn't seemed happy about the penknife, but she'd kept it, at least. It sent Jillian's heartbeat into her ears when she saw the look on Patty's face though. She considered never going back to the firehouse, but she couldn't think of any other job she could behave so erratically in. She knew she could take the next week off work if she wanted. Maybe that would give Patty time to forget about the knife. Maybe she wouldn't tell the others what Holtzmann knew she knew.

The idea of not seeing Erin for a week twisted Holtzmann up inside, made her feel physically sick. She looked at the clock. She'd been sitting on her indoor deck chair since 3 o'clock, just thinking.

It was 11:20. Fuck. She had to do something about this.

Holtzmann dialled Patty. Perhaps she could sort this whole mess out before word got back to Erin. Before everyone was laughing at her.

"Patty. Come over." She said, as soon as Patty picked up. Holtz hung up immediately, not waiting for an answer. Then, she got on the floor and lay as flat as she could, trying to remember how to breathe. Her shirt felt heavy on her chest.

Holtzmann had never been loved anyone before. She'd never wanted it. This most recent ridiculous saga had confirmed her distaste for it. If she could only convince Patty to keep her mouth shut, she could make the feelings go away. Go back to how it was before. Meaningless flirting.

She woke up to a knocking on her door. Confused, she stumbled up from the floor and answered.

Patty. Of course. The day came flooding back to her.

"Come in." she said groggily. "Coffee?"

Patty nodded, looking around. She hadn't known what to expect of Jillian's home, but it wasn't this. The bits of random machinery didn't surprise her. What did surprise her, though, was the fact that there was literally no real furniture. There was a lawnchair at the very edge of the room, rusted and looking a bit like it was only added as an afterthought.

Patty shook her head slightly. Being around Jillian was a constant set of surprises. She checked that the chair wasn't wired up to anything, and then sat in it. Jillian smirked, leaning against the doorframe.

"Don't worry. That part of the room is only slightly dangerous." She said, sauntering over to something that was covered in hazard tape and sitting on it. She handed the taller woman her coffee.

Patty laughed nervously. Slightly dangerous was still dangerous, and she had a feeling that in Holtzmann's case, it could mean very dangerous indeed. She looked at the woman, who was absentmindedly running her fingers along the rim of an energy drink. She didn't have her usually bubbly demeanour.

"What's up, Holtzy?" She asked, gentler than usual.

Holtzmann frowned deeply. She wasn't sure how to say this.

"Okay, Patty, I need a favor." She started. "You know... you know the Erin thing?"

"You mean your fascination?" The woman offered. Holtzmann cringed, but nodded.

"I need you to... not tell anybody. Okay?"

Patty raised her eyebrows.

"Man, I would never. Are you sure you're okay? You're acting really weird"

Holtzmann let out a bark of laughter. "I always act weird, Patty. I think the word you're looking for is 'normal.'"

Patty grinned then, glad there was nothing else on her friends' mind.

"Man, you wanna get some drinks?" she asked. Holtzmann nodded, crossing her eyes.

"Hell frickin' yes."


End file.
